Monday, March 12, 2012

One proud madre here

My boys are all BOY.  Both of them.  There is absolutely no doubt about that one.  Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of listening to them make fake "tooting" noises and giggle hysterically whilst they were supposed to be falling asleep in their bedroom.  Yes, we say toot in my house.   I despise the word, "fart."  And I am definitely not a fan of the word, "poot."  So toot it was.  I'm sure all of those words just created some weird kind of haiku, but whatever.

"Mommeeee!  Hayden's tooting!"  Cackle, cackle.  Giggle, giggle.

"Mommeeee!  Logan's tooting!"  Cackle, cackle.  Giggle, giggle.

This went on for well over 20 minutes, while I sat here, at my laptop, shaking my head, wondering if girls did the same shit.  Finally, the energy they expelled while making their fake toot noises exhausted them so much that they fell asleep.  Pretty much mid toot.

The thing is, I have no idea where they come up with the idea to do this.  I certainly do not blow raspberries on my arm and then screech, "Toot!"  Neither does my husb--- well, I guess one never knows what the husband does when the madre is not around.  However, the children have apparently mastered this long lost art and enjoy making a symphony of sorts during naptime.

Yep, one proud madre here.

I have another proud madre moment I 'd like to chat about.  Here's a quote from one of my favorite movies.  Ever.

"You know about cars.  Where did that come from?"

"Road and track.  The boys back home I grew up with, they were really into American heavy metal:  Mustangs, Corvettes.  They bought 'em cheap and fixed 'em up.  I paid attention.  So how is it you know so little about cars?"

American heavy metal. Bonus points to whomever can name that movie.  I always think about that quote whenever my turkeys talk about their cars.  I would also include Camaros in with that little grouping.  My children are obsessed with cars, as are most toddler boys.  But how many boys can correctly identify 8 different types of cars.  Uh, hum.  I tell you as a woman, this is impressive stuff.  My 3 1/2 year old little turkeys can identify Mustangs, Corvettes, Camaros, Chargers, Challengers, Chrysler 300s, Jeeps and Grand Prix's.  They know both styles of Mustangs, the old early 90's body style and current body style.  They also recognize numerous body styles of the Corvette and Camaro.  My husband and father think this is some spectacular stuff.  Me, I'm worried more about the pronunciation.

Consequently, when we head out of the house, not only are they instructing me how to drive and where to go, I also get a running commentary on every single one of the above mentioned cars we see on the road, generally in a uber surprised screech-y type of voice.  I get the color of vehicle, the color of the tires, and whether or not it is going too fast or too slow.  Often I am ordered to "catch up to that car Mommy." But if I go too fast, then I am promptly reminded of our recent accident.  "No car crash mommy.  No break car please."

We have two Mustangs that are generally parked right inside one of the entrances to our development, a white one and a gray one.  I am now required to exit my development only one way, no matter if it is in the complete opposite direction that I need to go.  And, if one or both of the cars has the nerve to not be present in its normal parking spot?

Oh, hell.

It has gotten better, though.  Now, if they aren't there, I just tell the boys that the cars had to go to work, just like daddy.  They seem to buy that one.  Sometimes.  Whew, dodged a bullet right there.

We are still working on other cars.  For example, when they see any 4 door BMW 3 or 5 series, they call it "Mommy's old car" which is, of course in reference to the 2005 Hyundai Sonata I drove while my van was in the body shop.  I find it hilarious that they equate Hyundais with BMWs.  My husband?  Not so much.  They other good one is the Porsche.  We saw a little mini convertible today and the boys freaked out screaming, "Mommy, mommy!  Look, a Porsche!"  So like a good mother, I glanced over and what did I see?  An old school Mazda Miata circa 1995.

 Clearly, we have a little work to do.  But overall?  I am one proud madre.

Love and peace,


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