Friday, March 9, 2012

Public Restrooms and Why I Carry an Endless Supply of Hand Sanitizer

From the archives:

Have you ever potty trained 3 year old twin boys?  No?  Well, then this post is for you.  And for any friends out there who have higher order multiples (triplets +) then I give you mad props because it was certainly, ahem, challenging just with two.  The thought of more than two gives me a shudder that travels straight to my bones.

Okay, I may be exaggerating just a little, again.  While it did have its challenges, it was actually far easier than I anticipated which is why I didn’t even try until they were way past 3.  I could say that I just “wanted to wait until they were ready.”  But, really, I was just kinda lazy and terrified of failing.  And I didn’t want to clean up pee and poop.  That’s it, my confession.

So now they are potty trained.  Now what?  Now we have an unhealthy obsession with all public restrooms.  Which is probably my fault.

The first couple of times I ventured out with no diapers, I was a hot mess.  Terrified of having an accident, terrified of my kid standing there with a little puddle.

Especially since there are TWO of them.

What happens if there are two little puddles?  I couldn’t bear the thought.  So every single time we went anywhere for the first week or so, I would force them to the bathroom of each establishment we entered.  Sit them on the pot and wait.  Most of the time they would go and I would be completely validated and do a little dance.  No, really, I would do a little dance.  After all, have to keep the positive reinforcement going, right?

So I bet you were wondering what the other kid would do while his brother was sitting on the pot?  Why investigate every single bathroom stall and flush each and every toilet, of course.   And pick up trash off the floor and throw it away.

All you germaphobes out there are probably cringing and rightly so.  I’m not even that big of a germaphobe and I even cringe and want to throw up a little bit.

So after we would potty and SCRUB hands, I would pick up my purse and head towards the door and turn back around to make sure the turkeys were following me.

Nope.  In the 2 seconds it took to pick up my bag, they were right back at it.  Touching everything and flushing toilets.

I am expecting a water bill from Target to arrive any day now.

Then, today, while scrubbing Hayden’s hands, I look back and Logan is belly down on the floor looking under a stall door, which just happened to be occupied.  That was a fun apology.  "Um, sorry, my 3 year old is a peeping tom."  Thankfully, the woman appeared to understand.  At least she didn’t run out of the bathroom screaming, that’s a plus.

So hand sanitizer is my best friend.  I KNOW it doesn’t kill all germs but it does enable me to do one good scrub after our adventures in the public restrooms and then just pray that the precious clear gel kills the rest of the germs that come from handling toilets.

Public restrooms are my enemy and my turkey’s favorite play place.  Lovely, isn’t it?

Love and peace


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