Thursday, November 17, 2011

Are you F*@$ing kidding me?

Yep, those were the first words I uttered upon learning that I would be giving birth to my now 3 ½ year old beautiful twin boys, much to the dismay of my husband who promptly punched me in the arm the moment the dreaded F word came out of my mouth. 

“Like she’s never heard it before,”  was my quick witted response to the punch (which did NOT leave a mark, by the way, no need to worry) followed by, “Hey watch it, I AM pregnant with your CHILDREN, not ONE child but TWO children.  You better be nice to me.” 

Actually, I’m pretty sure, I used that line numerous times during my pregnancy, generally after the 16 weeks of morning sickness subsided and I was craving delicious goodness like fried fish and chips from Long John Silvers at 9:55 pm.  “I’m having TWO, you better be nice to me.”  Insert sickly sweet smile and eyelash batting or maybe bitchy nagging, I can’t seem to recall which tactic I used most of the time, it gets a little fuzzy.  Although I’m sure David will remember exactly which tactic was used the majority of the pregnancy.  But, you know, I was HAVING TWO.

So that’s what began this crazy foray into our journey of parenting.  I think that will be an amusing story to tell the turkeys later in their lives.  Hopefully, they won’t be as horrified as their daddy by their mommy’s use of the F word.  Maybe I should share the story when they are teenagers and just learning how to swear and think it is cool to sneak in bad word every now and then.  Then, maybe, just maybe they will think I am super cool for, like, a second.   Then, it will be back to mean old mom.  I think I need to start taking naked pictures to use as blackmail FOR SURE.

So anyhow, after the dreaded F word was uttered and I am stuttering and stammering around trying to figure out how the hell we were pregnant with twins, the ultrasound tech says, rather brilliantly, of course, “Sometimes TWINS HAPPEN.”  I’ve been using that line pretty regularly too for the past 4 years.

So fast forward through a pretty tough pregnancy, HELLP Syndrome which required an emergency C-section at 28 weeks, a 71 day NICU stay, a move across the country to sunny Mesa, AZ and here we are.

Twins happen!  That’s what this blog is about…the happenings and crazy life of mothering twins and some of the other stuff that is going on in our lives.  I’ve been sharing a lot of my fun turkey stories on facebook which is great but some of the stories I feel like elaborating a bit on and don’t want my million facebook friends to get stuck reading a novel as a status update, thus, the blog was born.  Enjoy!

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