Monday, February 27, 2012

I drive myself crazy

So, occasionally, I might find myself saying and doing things that drive my husband a little insane.  I know, shocking.  And, occasionally, he does and says things that drive me flat out bat shit crazy.  Nothing brings out the worst in the two of us, than driving in traffic and trying to park in crowds.  Nothing.  If people saw the way we interacted in the car, they would think we were on our way to divorce court and the family outing was a last ditch effort.  It's that bad.

Of course, now it isn't as bad as it used to be, seeing as the turkeys are in the car with us and we don't screech things like "You f@#king suck at driving!" or "Turn here, turn here, OMG, you do not listen to a word I f*%king say" or "You are never f$#king driving again." Now, the f words are deleted and replaced with effing or flipping and freaking and the tone of our voices is almost conversational.  Yep, we clean it up nice for the kids.  I'll give you one guess on who the person is doing all the swearing?

Early in our marriage and prior to the marriage, my husband would often ignore me when I would go on my little tirades in the car.  However, now that we are on our 8th year together and 5th year of marriage, he is getting a little more ballsy.  He will generally snark right back at me which only gets the bitch-o-meter up there to volcanic proportions.  Now his favorite comeback is:

"You're the one whose had all the accidents."

That's a good one.  Because then I feel the need to defend myself and generally bring up some obscure idiot move he made, like 5 years ago, that has absolutely nothing to do with driving in a moving vehicle.

I seriously don't know how the man loves me so much between my ridiculous back seat driving and my ungrateful postings about the cleaning of the house while I am on vacation.  Geez.  Sometimes I drive myself crazy.

But, in the end, it would be so much easier if he just realizes I am always right.  Always.

Love and peace,


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