It is January 11, 2012 and my Christmas decorations are still up. There is very little I like less than putting away Christmas decorations hence my apprehension and lateness in actually hauling all the crap out and making my house festive enough to satisfy everyone.
I remember Christmas circa 2001. I am pretty sure my Christmas decorations in my lovely little apartment in Dayton OH stayed up until April 2002 and I am not even kidding.
Last year, I think, I think they were down before the month of February. The year before, definitely right before Valentine’s day. I could write a book and name it: “Slacker of the year.” At least when it comes to Christmas decorations.
So the kids are napping and instead of taking s#%t down and putting my house back to the way it looks the rest of the year, I decided I would compile a list.
10 Things I would rather do than take down Christmas decorations:
1. Go to the grocery store with the turkeys and we all know how much I love that task.
2. Scrub my baseboards. Yes, I would rather drag out a bucket complete with soap and sponge, get down on my old ass hands and knees and scrub my disgusting baseboards than put away Christmas Decorations.
3. Change the sheets on my boys’ twin beds (it only takes 10 minutes, but you try wrestling with a twin bed that is extra deep and pushed up against the wall and then do it with the other one)
4. Deep clean my refrigerator. Even with the bag of peas and carrots emptied in the bottom of the freezer. I could blame it on the kids but that was my f-up for sure.
5. Get a bikini wax.
6. Fold and put away 25 loads of laundry in a row.
7. Paint every single room in the house, 3 times over.
8. Clean up pee from the bathroom floor.
9. Wake up 30 times at night with alternating twin boys and then get up for the day at six without coffee.
10. Deal with health insurance customer service people who can barely speak English for 6 hours straight.
Well, I think you must get my drift by now. Hope you all have a happy evening. I am going to have a great evening by not putting away Christmas decoration and stalking pinterest with a glass of wine.
By the way, does anyone know how the hell pinterest works?
Love and peace