I am about over people bashing Iowa. You know once every four years, the Iowa caucuses come around. It’s no surprise. Every year, people start hating on Iowans for no reason except that it happens to be a very rural state with some fairly simple-living people as residents. And every year, members of the media manage to find the biggest idiots imaginable to portray Iowa to the rest of the country.
Are there idiots that live in Iowa? Fuck yes! But there idiots that live everywhere. And Iowans are seriously some of greatest people I’ve ever met.
Is the capital of Iowa, Des Moines, smaller than my suburb of Mesa, AZ? Yes. But, it was kinda nice to get from one side of the city to other in 15 minutes or less.
Is there even a mall in Iowa? Yes, you morons, of course there is. There’s like 5, at least.
Funny story. David had been a sous chef at PF Changs in Columbus for about a year. He was doing his 500th restaurant opening or something like that, in Minnesota at the time when he sat down with the bosses. They offered him a promotion as culinary partner/executive chef at a brand new PF Changs slated to open in August 2004. They told him about the position, responsibilities, etc. My future husband accepted the promotion before asking what some might consider to be the most important question next to how much am I going to make?
Almost as an afterthought David asks, “Where?”
The big wigs, grinning widely, respond: “West Des Moines.”
To which David, after thinking for a minute, responds: “Iowa?”
I had pretty much the same reaction when he relayed the conversation to me during our nightly telephone call.
“Iowa? Really, you are moving to Iowa?”
“Yep, wanna go with me?”
It was that simple folks. Keep in mind, I had only been dating him for about 6 weeks or so at this point. Although I was a 25-year-old law school graduate and adult for well over 7 years, my parents understandably had some misgivings. Thankfully, by this point they had realized that arguing with me when I had already made my mind up was futile. And thankfully, they didn’t go apeshit. I sure do love them for that. I should mention that my parents absolutely adore David and I think sometimes they forget that I am their biological offspring, not him. Kidding…maybe.
So in June 2004, we packed up our worldly possessions and began the trek across the Midwest to the fine state of Iowa.
While there we met some of the best friends we will ever have. While we do not talk every day, I know if we were ever in a bind, there are about 20 people we could call in Des Moines, IA that would come running. We bought our first house there. We had our children there. We started our lives together there.
So yeah, it kinda pisses me off when people make generalizations about the people of Iowa. After all, I used to be one of ‘em and I sure don’t like to think of myself as an “Idiot Out Walking Around.” If anyone says that to me ever again, you will probably get a giant “Eff you!”
Happy Caucusing Iowans!
Love and peace